微故事: 阿強的橫膈膜 (東加豆) / Micro-story: Ah Keung's Diaphragm (by Tonkabean)

微故事: 阿強的橫膈膜 (東加豆)

阿強是個出名悲觀的人，說話又直接。太太阿珍出差前，塞給他一本大笑瑜伽手冊，說："遇到壞事時，試試笑。筆記說，身體分不清真笑假笑，笑著笑著，想法就會跟上。"

第三天，阿珍從印度打來電話："老公，屋頂那盆太陽花還好嗎？"

阿強說: "全部太陽花死了!"

阿珍又生氣又難過，太陽花死得突然，丈夫說話又那麼直接，早知還是放回露台吧!屋頂，屋頂，屋頂從來都是危險之地。過了半天，平靜過後阿珍又生氣，她對丈夫說："難道從來都沒人教過你說話的藝術嗎？你說話不能婉轉一點嗎？

阿強不解地問: "事實就是太陽花了，這還能怎麼說呢？"

阿珍深深吸一口氣，然後長長地呼氣說：“你可以一步一步告訴我啊。比如說，你先告訴我太陽花搬到屋頂曬太陽了。等我到了德里，你再說它曬太久開始發黃了。等我到了孟買，你再說它已經枯萎了。這樣我至少有個心理準備。"

"你學了大笑瑜伽，Ho Ho一秒半也好，至少給自己時間想清楚，不要一開口就殺死盆花。" 阿珍繼續說。

又過了半天，即是晚上，阿強打電話給阿珍說："今天太陽花搬到屋頂曬太陽了。"

"妳現在到了德里是嗎？...太陽花曬太久了...開始發黃。"

接著，阿珍聽不清楚阿強在說什麼，只聽到電話傳來一陣陣的由喉嚨發出的 Ho Ho Ha Ha...。

阿強連忙說："不好意思...不好意思...因為腹部突然收縮，他的身體搶先笑，橫膈膜自己動了。"

阿珍說："我明白...我明白，導師筆記第十五章（笑聲與壓力：生理上的對立）——當橫膈膜劇烈震盪時，交感神經會被切換到副交感神經，意思是，即使你不想笑，身體也會自己選。而且，你先選擇了笑！對的，對的，我明，我明。

阿強說："我想解釋太陽花的事，但還沒開口，笑聲就搶先跑出來。我越急，身體越不聽話；太陽花…Ho Ho…死了…Ha Ha！"

霎時間，阿珍沒有再為太陽花而生氣，因為阿強的笑聲彷彿生出了太陽花。

阿珍拿著電話，等。

她忽然問："我媽呢？她昨天說來我家為太陽花澆水。"

阿強張開嘴說："妳媽說天氣好，走上屋頂去了。"

完

 

Micro-story: Ah Keung's Diaphragm (by Tonkabean)

 

Ah Keung was known for being a pessimist who spoke too directly. Before his wife Ah Jane left on a business trip, she handed him a Laughter Yoga manual and said: "When something bad happens, try laughing. The manual says the body can't tell the difference between real laughter and fake laughter. Laugh, and the thoughts will follow."

Three days later, Ah Jane called from India: "Honey, how are the sunflowers on the roof?"

Ah Keung said: "All the sunflowers are dead!"

Ah Jane was angry and sad. The sunflowers died suddenly, and her husband was so blunt. She should have left them on the balcony. The roof, the roof, the roof was always a dangerous place. After a while, Ah Jane got angry again and said to her husband: "Has no one ever taught you how to speak? Can't you be a little more tactful?"

Ah Keung asked: "The truth is the sunflowers are dead. What else can I say?"

Ah Jane took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, then said: "You could tell me step by step. First, you could tell me the sunflowers were moved to the roof to get some sun. When I get to Delhi, you could tell me they were turning yellow from too much sun. When I get to Mumbai, you could tell me they had withered. That way, I'd at least have some warning."

"You've learned Laughter Yoga. Even half a second of Ho Ho would give you time to think before speaking. Don't kill the flowers with your first sentence," Ah Jane continued.

Later that evening, Ah Keung called Ah Jane and said: "The sunflowers were moved to the roof to get some sun today."

"Are you in Delhi now?... The sunflowers got too much sun... they're starting to turn yellow."

Then Ah Jane couldn't make out what Ah Keung was saying. All she heard was a series of Ho Ho Ha Ha coming from his throat through the phone.

Ah Keung quickly said: "Sorry... sorry... My abdomen suddenly contracted and my body laughed first. My diaphragm moved on its own."

Ah Jane said: "I understand... I understand. Teacher's notes, Chapter 15 — when the diaphragm vibrates intensely, the sympathetic nervous system switches to the parasympathetic nervous system. It means even if you don't want to laugh, your body will choose to. And you chose laughter first! Yes, yes, I understand."

Ah Keung said: "I wanted to explain about the sunflowers, but the laugh came out before I could speak. The more I tried to control it, the more my body wouldn't listen. The sunflowers... Ho Ho... are dead... Ha Ha!"

Suddenly, Ah Jane stopped being angry about the sunflowers. Ah Keung's laughter seemed to have given birth to new sunflowers.

Ah Jane held the phone and waited.

She suddenly asked: "What about my mother? She said she was coming to water the sunflowers yesterday."

Ah Keung opened his mouth and said: "Your mother said the weather was nice, so she went up to the roof."

End

日期 Date：24 August 2026

圖 Illustration: 人工智豆 (Ai-Bean)

文 Written by: 東加豆 (Tonkabean)

我除了寫微故事，還製作有聲書，希望我們能互相認識。

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Besides writing micro-stories, I also create audiobooks. I hope we can get to know each other.

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關於我 /About me ：https://tonkabean.me/

故事選集 / Story Collection

https://tonkabean2016.blogspot.com/

https://matters.town/@tonkabean/collections