微故事: 笑肌, 重啟中… (東加豆)
Micro-story: Smile muscles, Rebooting... (by Tonkabean)
阿丁做了十一年客戶經理。他最大的技能不是談生意，而是（捲）。把一張臉捲成恰到好處的弧度，不冷不熱，不真不假。
捲了十一年，臉終於罷工了。
某天早上，他發現自己的嘴角卡在上揚的位置，放不下來。吃早餐是這樣，看新聞是這樣，連睡覺被老婆踢醒也是這樣。他像一個永遠在說（歡迎光臨）的蠟像。
客人給他留言："皮笑肉不笑，不如唔好笑。" 一星。
阿丁計算過，一顆星可以抵銷二十顆五星。系統評核他的平均值是三星半，身為一位客戶經理，這個結果，簡直不能向任何人交代，上司、下屬、阿媽、老婆、阿仔。
絕望之下，他重上大笑瑜伽課。導師沒說大道理，只叫大家做（獅子大笑）——伸脷、瞪眼、從喉嚨深處吼出來。阿丁照做，臉上的肌肉撕扯著，像在拉一條生了鏽的拉鏈。
他發現，原來笑不是從臉開始的。筆記說，一次大笑能把肺裡1500毫升的廢氣擠出來。他不知道1500毫升是多少，但他覺得自己的肺像被清空了一樣，然後灌進了新的東西。
阿丁非常享受這種奇妙的感覺，導師說："Inhale...!"
他吸吸進去的，有地鐵的廢氣，老細的晦氣、客人的怨氣，以及自己那口難以吞下的烏氣。
大笑瑜伽卻讓這些像垃圾般的氣體，像嘔吐一樣，把你生活中被迫吸入的種種烏氣，一次過吐出來，長長地呼出一口氣。
每次客人說他笑得假，他就趁機推廣大笑瑜伽。講（內部慢跑）、講（橫膈膜震盪）、講（氧氣大掃除）。本來是皮笑肉不笑的笑容，因為講得太多，竟然帶著幾分莫名其妙的熱情。
那麼，那張卡住的臉呢？還在的，但阿丁已經不在意了。笑下笑下，不知不覺就鬆開了。有時候，早上還會卡一下，Ho Ho Ha Ha Ha...x 2 YGYG Yeah！也就沒事了。
完
Micro-story: Smile muscles: Rebooting... (by Tonkabean)
Ah Ding had been an account manager for eleven years. His greatest skill wasn't closing deals; it was crafting the perfect "corporate smile." He could roll his facial muscles into a precise angle—neither too cold nor too warm, neither completely true nor completely fake.
After eleven years of doing this, his face finally went on strike.
One morning, he woke up and found the corners of his mouth stuck in an upward position. He couldn’t bring them down. He looked like that while eating breakfast, while watching the news, and even when his wife kicked him awake in the middle of the night. He had become a wax figure that was forever saying, "Welcome!"
A client left him a review: "A fake smile is worse than no smile at all." One star.
Ah Ding did the math. One single star could wipe out twenty five-star reviews. The system now rated his average at 3.5 stars. As an account manager, this score was a total disaster. He couldn’t face anyone—his boss, his team, his mother, his wife, or his son.
Out of sheer despair, he went back to a Laughter Yoga class. The instructor didn't give any deep lectures. She simply asked everyone to do the "Lion Laughter"—stick out your tongue, widen your eyes, and roar from the depths of your throat. Ah Ding followed along. The muscles on his face stretched painfully, feeling like a rusted zipper being forced open.
That was when he realized that a real laugh doesn’t start from the face. The class notes said that a single hearty laugh can push 1,500 milliliters of stale air out of the lungs. He didn't really know how much 1,500 milliliters was, but he felt as if his lungs had been completely emptied, and then filled with something brand new.
Ah Ding thoroughly enjoyed this magical feeling. The instructor called out, "Inhale...!"
What he breathed in everyday was the exhaust from the subway, the bad mood of his boss, the complaints of his clients, and his own swallowed anger.
But Laughter Yoga allowed him to throw up all these toxic gases like vomit. It took all the bitterness he had been forced to swallow in life and let him spit it out in one long, deep exhale.
Now, whenever a client complained that his smile looked fake, he used it as a chance to promote Laughter Yoga. He would talk about "internal jogging," "diaphragm vibrations," and "the oxygen deep clean." His smile started out fake, but because he talked about it so much, it accidentally took on a strange, genuine passion.
So, what happened to his stuck face? It still gets stuck sometimes, but Ah Ding doesn’t care anymore. As he laughs day after day, the muscles have naturally loosened up. Occasionally, his mouth might still jam a little in the morning. He just goes, "Ho Ho Ha Ha Ha... x 2, YGYG Yeah!"—and just like that, he is totally fine.
End
日期 Date：6 July 2026
圖 Illustration: 人工智豆 (Ai-Bean)
文 Written by: 東加豆 (Tonkabean)
我除了寫微故事，還製作有聲書，希望我們能互相認識。
喜歡我的文章嗎？盼得到您的支持、點讚，或分享我的文章，讓我知道創作的路上有你陪伴。
Besides writing micro-stories, I also create audiobooks. I hope we can get to know each other.
Do you like my stories? I hope to have your support, likes, or shares. Let me know that you are with me on this creative journey.
關於我 /About me ：https://tonkabean.me/
故事選集 / Story Collection
https://tonkabean2016.blogspot.com/
https://matters.town/@tonkabean/collections
